“What do you do?”

  1. “I work at a social media agency.”
  2. “I’m a social-media copywriter.”
  3. “I’m a copywriter. No, like, copy-writer. Marketing, basically. Don’t worry about it.”
  4. “Social media slash PR firm in Brooklyn.”
  5. “This cool agency in Brooklyn.”
  6. “Copywriter at—not really an ad agency, but sorta kinda? Social media stuff. Yeah, like the Twitter accounts for companies. You were saying? Okay cool what kind of lawyer? Punch me in the face. No I didn’t say anything, what? Cool yeah I think I’ve heard of that firm. Good job with your life. What?”
  7. “Marketing.”
  8. “PR but also social media, and I’m on the social media side, predominantly? What do you mean—why would you need smelling salts?”
  9. “I work at Harvard, but it’s not Harvard-Harvard. It’s like a special, secret Harvard-within-Harvard. It’s really not a big deal, actually. I only call Stephen Hawking ‘Stephen’ as a lark—it would be much more appropriate for him and I to be on a Mr. Hawking, Dr. Howe basis, since my work is technically more important than his. When did I become a doctor? I don’t know, when did you become a bad friend?”
  10. “Social media—no, not ‘manager,’ that’s not really what we call it, but—listen, what do you do.”
  11. “Social media.”

<3,

Alex Howe…………….Copywriter.